Stumbling toward a rule of life
My journey toward a rule of life began with cool curiosity. Maybe more like guarded animosity if Im honest. Ok I didn’t like the idea. You see I’m not a big fan of rules. I kind of live by the adage, its better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. So I definitely wasn’t attracted to having a rule of life. A rhythm maybe, but a rule, not so much.
Then I participated in the School of the Spirit formation school for a year. During that time, I read and studied about a rule of life. I considered what my current practices were. And at the end of that year my thoughts for a rule revolved around 1 Peter 4:7-11 with a focus on noticing, praying, loving, hospitality, and service.
During the year after SoS, I don’t know why, but not much of my rule stuck. What could be wrong with it, it was based on scripture right? I don’t know. It just didn’t seem to fit. Like I was wearing someone else’s clothes that were too big or too small. The words of GK Chesterton echoed in my heart “The more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild.”
The next year I participated in another year long formation program called School of Prayer. During the first half of the year, we followed a general rule of life together. The second half of the year we were to choose our own rule.
My thoughts kept swirling with no apparent direction. One morning a verse came to mind. “Seek first the kingdom of God” Matthew 6:33. It was one of my favorite verses. I loved the tune with it too. That day I read the verse in the Message, “steep your life in God.” That stuck with me and rattled around in my brain for a while. So, was seeking God like making tea or coffee? or me? I had recently become a coffee drinker and enjoyed drinking a cup in the morning during my time with God. My favorite part of retirement has been the space for uninterrupted time with God. Mornings had settled in as my most consistent time with God. I felt kind of off if I didn’t sit down and begin the day with God. But was I just supposed to sit there? and do nothing? Steep? Although the beginning of the day was rich for me, the middle and end of the day were anything but. I struggled keeping my mind fixed on God during the middle and end of the day. Steep your life in God … was it like brewing coffee maybe? I had one cup of coffee in the morning but that was the only time I drank coffee. I so enjoyed being with God in the morning, but my hearts desire was to be with God all day long, not just in the morning with my coffee. Slowly the jumble of words in my brain formed and after a long while tumbled out like a bunch of dice from a cup. BREW Begin Remain End, but what is the w??? … Shake up the cup again and pour out the dice, w??? … With God. Begin, remain, end, with God. BREWG – Begin Remain End With God. Aaah that fit. That felt like it came from deep inside me and clothed my hearts desire with words.
After stumbling around for 3-4 years looking for my rule of life … my rule of life found me.
God is soo kind and knows me so well. He knew it had to be simple, so I could remember it (even I can remember 5 letters). And to help me along the path a song bubbled up from my heart. Click HERE to listen to the song.
Over time I have added some meat to those bones. Looking back, I’m wondering if BREWG is like a wheel that turns, easy to start again with a small push. Or is it more like a water wheel moved by Gods constant kind flowing.
Still stumbling, walking, and singing forward with BREWG
Blessings
Al Reinken, Hope Band
